Everything Happens to Everybody Sooner or Later if There is Time Enough

-George Bernard Shaw

More than a year has gone by since I opened my mouth last… perhaps that’s a good thing. Rather than apologize, I saw a quote while looking up ideas on how to write about the passage of time and came across this little bit of pleasure…

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence

It made me think that apologizing to the internet for not having time for it is rather silly, since odds are, no one noticed I wasn’t writing. As depressing as that thought might seem, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t write here for any other person’s pleasure, just my own. It’s a nice little journal of sorts that I am willing to share, and if someone is willing to read, all the better.

So I’ll try to recap the last year as briefly as possible… mostly so I can remember to write about these events later.

  • We spent Christmas last year in Bremerton with family, for the first time in 10 years.
  • In January I promised myself to be healthier… and I promise I tried… for about a week.
  • In February I got a job at Burger King… In April I quit. Don’t work there. Just don’t.
  • April brought Lillie’s 6th birthday.
  • In late April I started working for The Home Depot. Do work there. I still do.
  • In June Hayden turned 10. Double digits earned him a trip to a water park. Turns out I don’t care for water slides… or find I feel too fat for them. See January.
  • Also in June I joined a gym. That lasted a month due to cost… but I lost weight.
  • In July my mom found out she had cancer. I spent a week or so in the hospital with her.
  • In August I decided the weight had to go. Between August and November I lost like 30 lbs.
  • In September both kids were in full time school. I wish they’d quit getting older, cause that means I am too.
  • In October I turned 29, Mom turned 59, Dustin turned 38, Molly turned 19, and I had my 11th wedding anniversary. I also worked too much, and didn’t celebrate much, but I did get an awesome 3DSXL and Animal Crossing for a present!
  • For my anniversary, though, I went to a Navy League Ball. It was fancy… and boring. But I got to wear an expensive dress.
  • For Halloween, Hayden was a Creeper, and Lillie was the Pink Power Ranger. Also, Bill visited.
  • November 6th was Garen’s birthday. He’s still old. (33)
  • On November 11th I arrived at Harrison Hospital at 3:30 in the morning, for my mother.
  • On November 13th I got to talk to her for the last time.
  • On November 16th, she passed away. (Also Garen’s late mother Charlet’s birthday)
  • On November 22nd, my sister in law Gina was being a sneak and got eloped. (CONGRATS!)
  • Tonight I redid the blog, merged in older posts, and got ready to try writing again.

I make no promises to commit to writing, because I never seem to follow through. But I’ve got the bug, because my hubby got the bug… and well, anything he can do I can do better! (Not really, he’s got a knack for words).

I’ll try to expand upon these things in the next few days… but there’s the short version.



I’m At Work

Therefore, I should be working… but there isn’t a lot to do right now. It’s storming outside, there are no customers inside, and I already set up my workspace just how I want it… only to have it magically revert to it’s orginal layout once I left for lunch yesterday… So I am opting out of that fight. But seriously, what does one do during the day when there just isn’t much to do?


Perception Vs. Reality

That title almost sounds like something out of “Inception“. I assure you, this is nothing like that. However, I often wish I either had been dreaming, or that what I dreamed had instead been real. This two situations tend to have a 50/50 existence; meaning, I tend to feel both situations roughly the same, not one more often than another.

For example, I dreamed that having a job, going to school, being a busy soccer type mom would be fanciful. I dreamed it would be easy to be busy; to have places to be; people to talk to… The reality is I’m usually very overwhelmed, disorganized and always out of time.

However, on the flip side, I wish I’d dreamed up some of the situations I’ve found myself in when it comes to my perception of people, neighbors, friends, relatives; people I often have high hopes for, expectations of, and invest incredible amounts of trust, effort, energy and emotion into. In these situations I tend to find myself severely let down, disappointed and even angry. I’m sad to say that in one case, I perceived a person incorrectly in at least one area of their life… which sadly ended before I knew better, and I’ll never get to tell that person how sorry and how wrong I was.

Of course everyone aspires to make their dreams their reality. Generally I don’t dream big like owning a mansion on some tropical island somewhere with pool boys named Pablo. I dream of simple satisfaction, of knowing what I want and how to get it. Of loving relationships with friends, family, and maybe even strangers. Sure, I wish I could cure all cancers, rid the world of intolerance, bring justice, find God, and make millions… but for now I’d settle for getting through a whole day where the kids did their chores, homework, didn’t fight or whine and did what they were told.

Perhaps that’s the bigger dream, actually.

The point of this post is the realization that I put a little too much effort in people that didn’t deserve it. How my perception of them became so distorted that I dreamed up some sort of view of them, rather than seeing the reality of who and what they actually were and are is beyond me. But since I’ve seemed to have woken up from the dream state of how I viewed these people, I suppose it is now time to face reality and move on. Still, the dream was nice while it lasted…