Everything Happens to Everybody Sooner or Later if There is Time Enough

-George Bernard Shaw

More than a year has gone by since I opened my mouth last… perhaps that’s a good thing. Rather than apologize, I saw a quote while looking up ideas on how to write about the passage of time and came across this little bit of pleasure…

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence

It made me think that apologizing to the internet for not having time for it is rather silly, since odds are, no one noticed I wasn’t writing. As depressing as that thought might seem, it doesn’t bother me. I don’t write here for any other person’s pleasure, just my own. It’s a nice little journal of sorts that I am willing to share, and if someone is willing to read, all the better.

So I’ll try to recap the last year as briefly as possible… mostly so I can remember to write about these events later.

  • We spent Christmas last year in Bremerton with family, for the first time in 10 years.
  • In January I promised myself to be healthier… and I promise I tried… for about a week.
  • In February I got a job at Burger King… In April I quit. Don’t work there. Just don’t.
  • April brought Lillie’s 6th birthday.
  • In late April I started working for The Home Depot. Do work there. I still do.
  • In June Hayden turned 10. Double digits earned him a trip to a water park. Turns out I don’t care for water slides… or find I feel too fat for them. See January.
  • Also in June I joined a gym. That lasted a month due to cost… but I lost weight.
  • In July my mom found out she had cancer. I spent a week or so in the hospital with her.
  • In August I decided the weight had to go. Between August and November I lost like 30 lbs.
  • In September both kids were in full time school. I wish they’d quit getting older, cause that means I am too.
  • In October I turned 29, Mom turned 59, Dustin turned 38, Molly turned 19, and I had my 11th wedding anniversary. I also worked too much, and didn’t celebrate much, but I did get an awesome 3DSXL and Animal Crossing for a present!
  • For my anniversary, though, I went to a Navy League Ball. It was fancy… and boring. But I got to wear an expensive dress.
  • For Halloween, Hayden was a Creeper, and Lillie was the Pink Power Ranger. Also, Bill visited.
  • November 6th was Garen’s birthday. He’s still old. (33)
  • On November 11th I arrived at Harrison Hospital at 3:30 in the morning, for my mother.
  • On November 13th I got to talk to her for the last time.
  • On November 16th, she passed away. (Also Garen’s late mother Charlet’s birthday)
  • On November 22nd, my sister in law Gina was being a sneak and got eloped. (CONGRATS!)
  • Tonight I redid the blog, merged in older posts, and got ready to try writing again.

I make no promises to commit to writing, because I never seem to follow through. But I’ve got the bug, because my hubby got the bug… and well, anything he can do I can do better! (Not really, he’s got a knack for words).

I’ll try to expand upon these things in the next few days… but there’s the short version.



Counter-Terrorists Win!

If you can really call us that anyways…

This particular post deals with the response to the death of Osama Bin Laden. My friend Dechion and another member of the blog community Big Bear Butt have also committed posts to this view. Their opinions are different than mine, and I do not mean to offend them. I found their works to be rather thought provoking as well. I encourage you to see their opinions… if you’re into political and moral debates. If not, walk away… quickly… 

 I rarely have to put one of these before something I write. However, this post will touch on topics of extreme sensitivity, and subjects of mass debate. If you are easily offended by discussions on politics, religion, Osama Bin Laden, terrorism, Military or any other of those “Shhh you can’t talk about THAT” subjects, I advise you to walk away. My opinions are often either really harsh, really from left field, and sometimes laced with rather inappropriate humor. Also, I am generally long winded. After this break, you may read on, and have your own opinion. I encourage you to share it. I however will not tolerate hate posts, general ass-hatery or nonsense. You have been warned.

I was in high school the day the World Trade Center North and South towers bit the big one. I was unable to immediately comprehend not only the massive amount of lives lost, but the idea that a foreign guy I’d never heard of planned and initiated a war on the United States. It however became apparently rather quickly that Bin Laden (OBL) had effectively kicked the trash out of New York City, The Pentagon, and airlines in general.

Up until September 11th, 2001 I had believed the United States was untouchable, and I was damn lucky to be born on her freedom lovin’ soil.

I walked home from school that day incredibly aware of the silence in the sky. No planes, no helicopters, even PSNS (Puget Sound Naval Shipyard) was eerily quiet… (and on lockdown). The silence was unnerving, but even more worrisome was the unspoken fear of the adults in my life. War was coming, they knew it, they understood it, and I didn’t. I was clear across the country from all the chaos of that day, and yet it was like it happened down the road. I wasn’t sure how to respond, how to feel. I was only 16 years old.

I have always been fairly removed from the situation. I lived on the west coast. I had no friends or loved ones lost that fateful day in New York. Every male in my family had either served or was currently serving in the military, and sooner than later I would find myself married to an active duty Coast Guardsmen as well.

Despite all that I do not know what it feels like to walk in the shoes of the soldier overseas. I do not know the pain of the mother who’s child was on one of those planes. I did not know the sinking feeling of watching someone I cared about leap from a burning building to their deaths. I did not have to wait to hear my mother would never sing to me again. That my brother would be deployed for the third time, or that my husband would never kiss me goodnight again. I never had to explain to my young children that their parent paid the ultimate price to ensure their continued safety and the cost was they could never ever see them again. While my husband does serve this country, and my father did serve this country in other wars, and my brother served, as well as my uncles… I never once this entire ten years had to feel any sort of personal connection with this war other than being an American who lived during this time.

So does this mean I feel nothing for all this fighting? For the values we are trying to defend? For the people who have died, those that will still die, and those who have to decide if we need to continue fighting? Of course I do! I am invested in this country and while sometimes I want to bang my head against the wall; this is my home, too.

OBL is dead. I couldn’t believe it when I heard the news. I caught the headline that the President would address the nation at 10:30pm on a Sunday and feared that the news would be more war. Some horrible thing had occurred…

Instead I was blessed with the news that the longest game of hide and go seek with the world champion of hit and runs was over.

I was overjoyed. I lept off the couch and hugged my husband. I called my Mom to ensure she’d heard the news. I called Bill and told him, too… for he had been recalled to serve twice and even had to leave his father who was dying to serve in this war, only to have to return a mere three weeks later to attend his funeral.

Was I dancing in the streets chanting USA? No, that’s not my style. Instead I find insanely inappropriate pictures to display my sense of humor and joy at the situation and share them with Garen and friends, but I was indeed celebrating, in my own little way.

But in this I’d lost nothing. NOTHING.

There are so many out there missing someone because of this mess, and if I were them you bet your ass I’D BE CELEBRATING! Like really celebrating. Did a human die? Was a soul lost? ABSOLUTELY, if you could accredit him with such things and/or call him that.

To those who see this as a case of the human condition, I am sorry that I’m offending you. Yes, he was a living being. Yes, he was human, who had intelligence, and a family… who killed other’s families. Who used his intelligence to make us afraid, to make us fight, to make us lose so much. He used his humanity against the entire country, and in my mind, he willingly threw his humanity out the window.

I do not feel this way for him alone. The Australian man I read about today who posted on Facebook as he murdered his two year old child to seek revenge on his ex wife lost his humanity too. I’d like to see a navy seal put one in his head, undefended even, like that little girl was. Harsh? Maybe. She’s not even my kid… but she’s two and she died without any reason, and without the ability to defend, at the hands of someone she loved and trusted. That man seriously has a way overdo can of karma whoop ass headed his way.

Charles Manson? I can think of quite a few who wish him dead. Who’d happily watch him die. I bet there’s even a few who’d love to pull the trigger. I don’t see anyone touting on about Hitler and how it’s so sad that he died. Lets discuss how you feel about that random neighbor who was so nice he cut your grass for you, and then he kidnapped, raped, and slowly bled out your 4 year old daughter to death. If you aren’t first in line at his execution swearing to invent ways to bring him back to life so you can kill him again… I’d be worried for you.

I believe in God. I believe that God does not wish us to kill needlessly. I do however believe that God has fought wars, I believe that God has defended his people against other people, and I do believe that God has once or twice kicked a few asses, or had others do it in his name. This is not God’s fight… He’s staying out of this one really, at least… on our end. I however do not think God would find this mans death… or those people who are celebrating it unreasonable or unjust. Of course, I like to think that God is a pretty rational guy, myself.

God aside, this is America’s victory. This man sought the lives of our entire nation… we sought his. Armed or not he killed thousands with a freakin’ airplane. He hid for TEN YEARS. If I’d been that Navy Seal… I’d have shot his ass dead, and then double tapped for good measure, even if he’d been unarmed, naked, helpless, old, dying and surrounded by hundreds of witnesses of family friends and unsuspecting cute creatures, like bunnies and children. He begged for it, he invited it to his front door, and if he didn’t hear that helicopter crash in his front yard and and didn’t grab a gun, I’m thinkin, he had a death wish too.

So excuse me while I am happy to watch the people dancing in the streets, wavin’ their flags and singin’ something akin to God Bless America (Or perhaps what I’m hearing is America, F*** Yeah). Either way, Some of these people waited ten years for justice. I’m gonna let them have one freaking late night.

Just my .02 cents….

P.S. Obama, Bush Jr. Bush Sr. and every other leader of this country that ever was, along with all of their advisers, aides, military and fellow American citizens should be credited with this victory. Bush Jr. had to carry the burden of the attack. His father carried a different fight with the same guys, Obama had to decide to act now, wait longer or do nothing. He had to decide if dead or alive was an option, and he had to decide who’s lives to risk and who’s world to shatter when he decided to send in the Navy Seals. I won’t even pretend like I could sleep at night with that kind of responsibility. I don’t pretend that I could have pulled the trigger to save my own skin, and I certainly don’t pretend to know enough about what’s goin’ on to make these kinds of choices. I don’t think any of us could walk their shoes… and nor should we try. I’m grateful that they’re doing everything they can to keep my family safe, happy and healthy, and while it’s not always graceful, and it’s not always what I want to hear coming out of their mouths… I will not forget how lucky I was to be born on American soil… and I will not begin to bad mouth my fellow Americans or her leaders now.


Perception Vs. Reality

That title almost sounds like something out of “Inception“. I assure you, this is nothing like that. However, I often wish I either had been dreaming, or that what I dreamed had instead been real. This two situations tend to have a 50/50 existence; meaning, I tend to feel both situations roughly the same, not one more often than another.

For example, I dreamed that having a job, going to school, being a busy soccer type mom would be fanciful. I dreamed it would be easy to be busy; to have places to be; people to talk to… The reality is I’m usually very overwhelmed, disorganized and always out of time.

However, on the flip side, I wish I’d dreamed up some of the situations I’ve found myself in when it comes to my perception of people, neighbors, friends, relatives; people I often have high hopes for, expectations of, and invest incredible amounts of trust, effort, energy and emotion into. In these situations I tend to find myself severely let down, disappointed and even angry. I’m sad to say that in one case, I perceived a person incorrectly in at least one area of their life… which sadly ended before I knew better, and I’ll never get to tell that person how sorry and how wrong I was.

Of course everyone aspires to make their dreams their reality. Generally I don’t dream big like owning a mansion on some tropical island somewhere with pool boys named Pablo. I dream of simple satisfaction, of knowing what I want and how to get it. Of loving relationships with friends, family, and maybe even strangers. Sure, I wish I could cure all cancers, rid the world of intolerance, bring justice, find God, and make millions… but for now I’d settle for getting through a whole day where the kids did their chores, homework, didn’t fight or whine and did what they were told.

Perhaps that’s the bigger dream, actually.

The point of this post is the realization that I put a little too much effort in people that didn’t deserve it. How my perception of them became so distorted that I dreamed up some sort of view of them, rather than seeing the reality of who and what they actually were and are is beyond me. But since I’ve seemed to have woken up from the dream state of how I viewed these people, I suppose it is now time to face reality and move on. Still, the dream was nice while it lasted…


Welcome Isabella and Eisen

Well, we’re back from our visit to Milwaukee to pick out our newest family member. All that fuss about selecting a name and the kids did the most wonderful thing… they found a dog they liked right away, and knew her name almost as instantly. They settled on a female, which I am totally ok with, and they named her Isabella, or “Izzy” for short. Izzy is smaller than her brother, but her colors are beautiful and her fur is far softer than his. She likes to hop about, she mistakes Lillie for a sibling puppy, and she likes to snuggle up and be held. She’s my kind of dog for sure. Bonus… Garen seemed to really like her as well.

Eisen is Bill’s pup. Larger than Izzy, Eisen has a very square head. His fur is kinda course but his colors are even darker and prettier than Izzy’s. His paws are huge! He’ll be a big dog for sure. Eisen seems to be a bit afraid of heights so he doesn’t like to be picked up as much as his sister, but he does snuggle up to people’s feet like Izzy does. Both pups are doing great on the housebreaking… and they are rather playful. They pick on each other quite a bit, but all in all they’re really good dogs.

Taking the kids to pick the dogs out turned out to be a wonderful idea. Lillie ran right into the litter of 7 puppies, even with mom and daddy dog barking madly from their kennels. That day was the pups first day outside, and they got ran around like crazy thanks to Hayden and Lillie. Hayden was a bit more timid about simply diving into a pack of puppies, but he eventually came around, too.

Sadly, we had to leave Izzy with Bill and Eisen until after our planned trip to Disney World this summer. I didn’t have it in me to ask someone to watch such a young pup, and Bill’s brother Len was more than willing to take in both pups for that week. So until June we’ll have to settle for seeing her on the webcam… but at least she gets to spend a bit more time with her brother.

Here is a video of the kids meeting the dogs for the first time and some pics of selecting and then playing with our new family members… enjoy!

Hayden and Lillie playing with pups at the breeder’s
Lillie holding Izzy at the breeders
Izzy in the foreground and Eisen in the background at the breeder’s
Me and Izzy
Bill and Eisen
Izzy and Eisen (She’s got pink, he’s got blue)
Izzy chillin’ in the back yard
Eisen who’d recently finished chewing on my shoe.


A Meme

I’ve been tagged by that lovable hunter over at Dechion’s Place… The meme, originally started by One Among Many simply asks:

Go back to your first few posts. Who was the first person to EVER comment on your blog? Call them out, link that post and thank them! Then tag a few folks to see who they call out.


Dechion Commented first, followed by Asara, and Larisa all on my post… An Introduction, of Sorts.

They all wished me good luck and welcomed me to the blogosphere! I started out not knowing where I wanted to take this blog… and I still really don’t know, but I’m having fun anyways stumbling my way around and ranting about whatever comes in front of me. However, this blog is here to stay. Merry Christmas everyone…. oh and I don’t tag anyone… this meme has been around for a while now.


I know I’ve lacked any sort of real enthusiasm for my posts. I was distracted by final projects, two new classes starting, working on making some Christmas Presents, and election mumbo Jumbo. Since we have less than a week remaining until Wrath hits, I am going to avoid beating the dead horse. I’m not abandoning you guys are anything (Like I could, blogging is totally addicting!) I’m just not posting anything really all that exciting, as I am taking this week to catch up, and maybe get ahead on my responsibilities, so that I can enjoy those first couple of weeks of Wrath without feeling like I’ve neglected the world.

Yesterday was Hubby’s birthday, btw. I got him Rock Band for our 360. He loves it of course, especially the drums. I also brought him some cake to his work. He is 28 years young. I also have a few projects I am working on, including some blankets for soldiers overseas, baby hats for the knit one save one campaign over at savethechildren.org and also some pillowcases for our local hospital. On top of those, I also need to finish a yellow and green scarf and hat for my dad, a quilt for him, and various other artsy crap for various family members for christmas.

Sooner then that though, I have quite the Thanksgiving Feast to plan. This year Garen and I are expecting 12 people for dinner. That means two fried turkeys, one ham, 10 pounds of mashed potatoes, a green bean cassorle, corn, gravy, rolls, a salad, chips and dip, veggie trays, and three pies to plan and buy. Not to mention the beverages.

Finally, my classes don’t slow down because the world becomes busy. So far, I am a 4.0 student, and I hope to keep that up. So as you can see, there is much to catch up on. It doesn’t help that our house that we rent is currently up for sale, so we’ve got to jump up and scrub it any time a possible buyer wants to see it. Also, yesterday I developed a massive tooth ache that resulted in a massive infection and a trip to the ER. I had a golf ball sized swelling on my lower right jaw. They have given me pain killers and antibiotics, which have made it hard to focus on much of anything for too long.

So as you can see, lately my plate has been full. I intend to get back on track with the WoW posting, I’m just waiting for something more thrilling then Dire Maul to write about. Five more days to go… we can do this, we can make it.

Much love to my readers,


I’ve Been Tagged

Dechionof the former Benameless, now Dechion’s Place, has tagged me. Blame him, not me.

Really, I think its fun to see where people where or what they were doing when this stuff came up. So here we go.
September 11 Attacks

September 11, 2001: When the first plane hit, I was on my way to school. My friend Malia had picked me up in her car (we took turns, gas was pricey at 99 cents a gallon -.-) The radio was on to our usual Pop/Rock music station when mid song it was interupted to bring us the news of the first plane. Malia understood better then I did. I didn’t even know where the world trade center was, despite being only a couple of weeks from my 17th birthday.

Once we made it to school everyone was talking about it. Some were upset because they had family there. I was on the other side of the country, near Seattle, Washington, but it was effecting us just as badly. I was in my first period class, english, when the second plane hit. We’d been allowed to have the news on in class as part of the “current events” segments of class. We watched as the second plane hit. One hour after that, we were dismissed from school.

Bremerton, the town I’d grown up in was home to Puget Sound Naval Shipyard, and also nearby Sub Base Bangor. We were told that both stations were threatened for attack, and the base employees were sent home except for those that were needed to tend to the ships, my father included. My mother didn’t seem worried, but I was scared. Things were never the same again at home or at that base. They changed the rules for being able to go on and go off the base. We knew we were going to war. Recruiters hit our school hard, it was our Senior Year. More then half my class went to war in Iraq after graduation. Some stayed, some have come home. Three have died.

Space Shuttle Challenger Disaster

January 28, 1986: In 1986 I was two years old. Too young to know or understand what was going on around me. I’d seen video later of the tradgety, and it is a very sad thing, but at the same time, while it was part of my generation, its not something I can recall for myself.

Hurricane Katrina

August 29, 2005: I was at work at the bank at the time. There was a TV always on in the lobby that I could see from my teller window. We turned off the usual elevator music and turned up the TV. As I worked through the day I watched the disaster happen. I’ve been fortunate to have always lived on the west coast. I’ve never had to deal with hurricanes. However here in Ketchikan we do have hurricane force winds and rain, we just dont call them that. I was in disbleif when they told me Garen was on recall to help clean up the mess. He never got called, but the result of the unpreparedness for the storm was mind boggling. How can you NOT be prepared for something that occurs yearly in your part of the world? Either way, its still a mess, but better prepared now.

Reagan Assassination Attempt



March 30, 1981: this happened three years prior to my birth, so as much as I’d like to bullshit my way through it, you’d know I was totally lying.

John Lennon’s Death

December 8, 1980: This one was even earlier. Four years before my birth, hell, Garen was only two months old when this happened. So its a no go here for me, too.
Kurt Cobain’s Death

ca. April 5, 1994: I was in fourthgrade when this happened. Not yet a Nirvana fan and pretty oblivious to his death. However, when I married in 2002, I went to the EMP in Seattle durning my honey moon. On display were all kinds of stuff that he’d had, including hand written lyrics, clothes, guitars and pictures. Looking at his stuff made me sad. He was a person just the same as you or I. Opinionated, had ideas, and dreams. Loved his little girl. He needed help, no one could help him though. And he died from it. I was sad in my later years not because this man was famous and touched me somehow, but because it was apparent he was losing his way, and no one helped him.

Brandon Lee’s Death


March 13, 1993. I saw the movie The Crow at a party when I was 15 years old. I didn’t know the story until then. While unusual, this one didn’t seem so tragic to me. It was an accident and that sucks, but because of how old it was I guess and the minorness of the loss, it didn’t bother me. I was bothered by the deaths of Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez of TLC, and of Ahliya because they were young, and both died in accidents that weren’t any cause of their own. I was old enough to remember them personally though and I think it made the difference.


Big Bear Butt

Big Red Kitty