That title almost sounds like something out of “Inception“. I assure you, this is nothing like that. However, I often wish I either had been dreaming, or that what I dreamed had instead been real. This two situations tend to have a 50/50 existence; meaning, I tend to feel both situations roughly the same, not one more often than another.
For example, I dreamed that having a job, going to school, being a busy soccer type mom would be fanciful. I dreamed it would be easy to be busy; to have places to be; people to talk to… The reality is I’m usually very overwhelmed, disorganized and always out of time.
However, on the flip side, I wish I’d dreamed up some of the situations I’ve found myself in when it comes to my perception of people, neighbors, friends, relatives; people I often have high hopes for, expectations of, and invest incredible amounts of trust, effort, energy and emotion into. In these situations I tend to find myself severely let down, disappointed and even angry. I’m sad to say that in one case, I perceived a person incorrectly in at least one area of their life… which sadly ended before I knew better, and I’ll never get to tell that person how sorry and how wrong I was.
Of course everyone aspires to make their dreams their reality. Generally I don’t dream big like owning a mansion on some tropical island somewhere with pool boys named Pablo. I dream of simple satisfaction, of knowing what I want and how to get it. Of loving relationships with friends, family, and maybe even strangers. Sure, I wish I could cure all cancers, rid the world of intolerance, bring justice, find God, and make millions… but for now I’d settle for getting through a whole day where the kids did their chores, homework, didn’t fight or whine and did what they were told.
Perhaps that’s the bigger dream, actually.
The point of this post is the realization that I put a little too much effort in people that didn’t deserve it. How my perception of them became so distorted that I dreamed up some sort of view of them, rather than seeing the reality of who and what they actually were and are is beyond me. But since I’ve seemed to have woken up from the dream state of how I viewed these people, I suppose it is now time to face reality and move on. Still, the dream was nice while it lasted…